daily special:
can i recapture your heart? - Joy-hani @ 21:52 \ 05.01
Monday, June 11, 2007
reminisce
stop my mind from running streams of if only's..
i dont know what the hell is up with me lately.. sorry for being like this,, and making my friends worry-- its really nothing.. so just ignore my moodiness;
and i should really say sorry =( i know when i say wrong & stupid things.. but i didnt mean it the way it might have sounded like..
yesterday i jumped on my sofa to reach the very top of my bookshelf to grab my gr.12 yearbook-- flipping through pages of distinct writings in colorful pens~ graduation photos; everyone's good-byes.. i can remember vividly every single person in our grad year.. woww.. high school ~ all of us went through and experienced the same 5 years together~ its so hard to believe how easily i've left all those memories in the back of my mind so quickly.. and now its all coming back to me again~ and i start to realize what i've lost upon entering university.. in high school, we were all crazy! do all these crazy things together,, and that being possible only cus we could truly be ourselves. in university, everyone becomes so self-conscious, and its so hard to become close friends with someone. i guess it takes time, huh. but everyone's busy with their studies; the friends you make in your class almost disappear after you finish the course.. cus everyone just moves on to something different and its hard to cross paths again. well i guess it might just be me.. X_x; its easy to make friends with everyone in the class, but to me, it seems like we'll never become really close friends.. i really really miss high school!! just sitting infront of our lockers every break+lunch, randomly singing "my humps!" nonstop~ rushing to finish homework in the morning~ asking friends in earlier classes what was on the test~ i never realized how much fun high school was until it was over..
then i went to read my past diaries.. hahaha :P i wrote 1 , whole , diary allll about this 1 guy i had a crush on. in the end i never told him :x the diary is soooooo naive its cute! TOTALLY HUA CHI.
then i found my elementary school diary and i wrote in cursive :o and i cant do it at all anymore -_- i cant even print neatly anymore :x
that diary was so emo~ i wrote every single day and filled up 2/3s of the diary. if anyone ever gets to read it; it'll make your heart ache x_x
then i went to my old msn space which i kept up for like.. 5 entries? :P it was during the last month of gr.12.. so i went to read through what i felt about graduating during that time~ anyways what the heck. here it is; sorry its not really worth a read - -; so dont go unless u really have nothing to do.
then i went on my computer to dig through old photos~ why do i keep trying to look for the past?? the whole time i was just like what the heck.. i dont know ~ im so emo!!!! and i want to stop. cus its making me feel really lonely x x
why am i even making this post.. its so dumb. =/
should i post it..? i guess so.. since candy-cafe's been idle for so long again~
oh and wow! SEA finally updated~ and with all my fave avatars!! what* a surprise :3
oh and xiang~ have a safe + fun trip!
- Joy-hani X_x;
c♥ndy-cafe's cappuccino keeping me up at 11:52 PM
3 blends of espresso-tinted kisses
3 blends of espresso-tinted kisses